Interviewed by Charron Monaye
Faith Broussard Cade has over 10 years of experience as a professional school counselor and mental health counselor and also worked as a baker and a food blogger, before shifting to writing inspirational affirmations on pieces of handmade paper through her extremely popular Instagram handle, Fleur De Lis Speaks (@fleurdelisspeaks). I had the pleasure of interviewing Faith about her most recent book release. Enjoy our interview below.
Shine Bright Anyway centers around acknowledging personal wounds and embracing healing. Can you share what inspired you to write this book and how your own healing journey shaped it?
On January 9, 2018, I was hit from behind in a motor vehicle accident on my way to work that morning, and I sustained a concussion, and a traumatic brain injury, conditions that continue to challenge me on a daily basis. Shortly after the accident, I began to struggle with migraines, sensitivity to light and sound, chronic physical pain, insomnia, sensory issues, and distractibility. I was unable to return to my career of school counseling that I had been in for over 10 years and was forced to resign. I felt broken and lost, confused as to how I was going to continue my career as a helper, since that was how I had always defined myself. What was I going to do without the occupation that I felt gave me purpose in life?
For years, I struggled with chronic pain and headaches, memory loss, difficulty concentrating, 4-5 day stretches of chronic insomnia, and unshakeable anxiety. The amount of stress I was under felt unfair and oftentimes, unbearable. I struggled to maintain a sense of normalcy for my family: to be the wife and mother I’d always been while also prioritizing my own recovery. My entire world had shifted in a split second and I felt like I couldn’t regain a sense of control, no matter how hard I tried.
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I knew I had to find a way to prioritize my mental health in the midst of tragedy. I had to figure something out. My life was falling apart at warp speed and I had no clue how to even begin to pull myself back together. And without realizing that I’d be learning a lesson about anything, I set out to adjust just a little: how I saw myself, how I loved myself, and how I took care of myself. So I set out to do one thing for myself every day: to honor and nourish myself by writing a self- care note. A positive affirmation. A note of care to encourage myself no matter what that day would bring. It would only take 5 minutes tops. Just one little note- and I’d post it on Instagram for accountability. My intention was to write them for 15 days, and here I am, almost 7 years later, still writing those notes, not just for me, but for hundreds of thousands of others around the world.
The book contains 90 messages of encouragement. How did you select these specific themes, and what impact do you hope they will have on readers facing their own struggles?
I don’t intentionally select themes or even the words I write in my affirmations. Since the day I began writing them, I have called them my “Divine downloads.” They are dropped into my spirit and I feel that it is my personal responsibility to share them with the world.
I’ve been able to turn my pain into purpose and I want more than anything to help others see that they have everything they need inside of them to do the same. I want to reach as many people as possible with the idea that caring and compassion can help bring light to even the darkest spaces and seasons of our lives.
Many people feel pressure to “do more, want more, and be more.” How does your book address these societal expectations, and what advice do you give to readers who feel they are not enough?
Shine Bright Anyway encompasses a few essential truths:
You’re not alone,
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We’re all struggling with something,
Everyone else doesn’t have it all together either,
It’s okay to feel like you’re not okay sometimes,
Be intentional about finding bits of joy where you can in your daily life.
Most of us are overworked, overwhelmed, and over- committed and we use our productivity as a measure of our overall worth. We’re addicted to performing, not only for others, but also for ourselves.
But we’ve got to learn to extend grace to ourselves and others and allow ourselves to be less than perfect. Less than “on point” all the time. We have to acknowledge that no amount of pressure we place on ourselves can make us superhuman or extend our capacity to produce when our minds, bodies, and souls are empty. We do not have to run ourselves into the ground to prove that we are committed to our families, our jobs, or the larger world around us. Our “best” is not what we’ve given once we find ourselves depleted and burnt out. But our best is what we’re able to give and still maintain an acceptable standard of care and concern for ourselves. Then and only then are we able to give from our overflow, rather than our deficit. Then and only then, are we able to show up in the world as our truest, most authentic selves.
One of the key messages in Shine Bright Anyway is about replacing feelings of inadequacy with the truth of your worthiness. What strategies do you suggest to help people recognize their inherent value?
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- Choose to be the author of your own story and stop handing the pen off to other people. Refuse to accept the narrative that is assumed about you. Give yourself some credit. You’ve beaten the odds AND you are an exceptional human being. You are winning. And that is worth celebrating!
- Address your Inner Critic and Imposter Syndrome. Most of us downplay our accomplishments and minimize our potential so that it will hurt less when someone else does it. That is a trauma response, not a coping skill. So, let’s stop doing that. You can be humble without playing small.
- Don’t allow what people think or say determine how you feel about yourself or what you believe you are capable of.
- Refuse to take on what someone else’s idea of success is for you.
- Create personal affirmations that are in alignment with who you are, what you believe, and how you want to live your life.
- Incorporate your affirmations into your daily life.
- Use visuals. Write your positive affirmations down and put them somewhere that will allow you to look at them often. You can use post-its, the background on your smartphone, notes on your refrigerator, car dashboard, bathroom mirror, etc. Put them anywhere and everywhere that will help you see them, say them out loud, and put them in your mind. Consume content that supports your affirmations.
- Attach positive emotions to the affirmation as a way to allow yourself to think about how good it feels to fulfill this affirmation.
How has practicing gratitude and self-care impacted your recovery and emotional well-being, and how can readers apply these lessons in their own lives?
One of the biggest challenges for me on my self- care journey was letting go of the unnecessary. I had to accept that the key to making space for myself and my needs is LESS. And before y’all take this, run with it and misquote me, let me be absolutely clear:
- I am not telling you to quit your job.
- I am not telling you to stop cooking and feeding your kids, although I may consider it on a daily basis.
- I am not telling you to stop volunteering at the homeless shelter.
- I am not telling you to stop doing laundry.
- I am not telling you to flake out and not show up to your best friend’s birthday dinner.
- I am not telling you to give up on your side hustle or your blog.
- I am not telling you to throw caution to the wind and abandon your responsibilities.
What I am saying is that we cannot be fully present and immerse ourselves in gratitude if we are not engaged. When was the last time you felt fully present and engaged in the moment without anticipating what’s coming next?
So if you find yourself feeling completely detached from your daily activities and unable to experience genuine fulfillment, you may need to reduce the amount of time you spend doing things that do not bring you joy and be intentional about adding more of what you love to your life. Some things are non- negotiables. Others are not. You don’t have to have something on your calendar to be unavailable. Rest is a perfectly good reason. No is a complete sentence. No explanation necessary. Tell folks you are busy, even if you are busy resting. The time you spend doing things you enjoy is not wasted. It is an investment into your overall well-being and you have to believe that the investment is worth it. You have to believe that you are your best self when your tank is full. You have to decide that you want to give to others from your overflow, not your deficit. Giving from your deficit ultimately puts you at a disadvantage, draining you of the energy you were given to go out and change the world while fulfilling your purpose.
What message would you like readers to take away from Shine Bright Anyway, especially those dealing with past trauma or emotional vulnerability?
You are enough. You are not the trauma you’ve experienced. What happened to you is not who you are. Resist the temptation to pick yourself apart. Reject the world’s narrative that you need to be “fixed.” You are not broken. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
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